Healthy friction: Looking at a fresh paradigm of interactions

Since the world is enormously diverse, differences, oppositions and divergences are bound to arise. However, the presence of these disagreements is not the problem, an undesirable handling of disputes is. Friction will exist and it is in our hands to extract worthy results from it. In other words, friction can be healthy if we make the right decisions about it. Simply put, healthy friction is manageable and causes conversation instead of outright dispute

Aristotle called man a “social animal”, a being that lives its life by engaging in relationships with others. This remark can be utilized to paint a triumphalist vision of social cohesion, but there is, inevitably, the implication of struggle, conflict and friction.

In fact, friction is everywhere in our social dynamics— our interdependence ties us to each other and makes the possibility of a tussle almost unavoidable. Despite its inevitability, the dominant narratives around friction are all tinged with caution. We are asked to avoid conflict at all costs as it is seen as a roadblock to cooperation, productivity and peaceful coexistence. However, if friction is likely to occur due to our fundamental togetherness, is there a way to reimagine it? Can friction, instead of being a problem all the time, be healthy sometimes?

In elementary physics textbooks, friction has been labelled as a ‘necessary evil’, because while excessive friction prevents movement, it is what enables useful interaction between surfaces, making activities like walking and holding things possible.

It is likewise with our social world. Excessive friction and conflict can cause tremendous difficulty but no friction would mean a near-zero meaningful exchange for judicious alliances, no diversity of opinions and no competing worldviews for a holistic vision. In fact, the case for diversity and democracy makes the case for a healthy friction.

Since the world is enormously diverse, differences, oppositions and divergences are bound to arise. However, the presence of these disagreements is not the problem, an undesirable handling of disputes is. Friction will exist and it is in our hands to extract worthy results from it. In other words, friction can be healthy if we make the right decisions about it.

Simply put, healthy friction is manageable and causes conversation instead of outright dispute. Through simple decisions like practising mindfulness, not taking things too personally and believing in objective argumentation and productive exchange, we can mould disputes to build pathways for cooperation. Disagreement can be an opportunity to understand a different point of view, learn from it and arrive at an enlightened conclusion. Business experts have often used it as a strategy to enhance productivity and the output produced.

To this effect, Jeff Miller, writing for Forbes remarks, “Friction can cause conflict (something we tend to avoid), but it can hold the key to increased performance and growth. As managers, we are responsible for helping to drive both of those things in our employees and our teams. That means in addition to finding ways to remove friction for your team to run smoothly, it’s also your job to introduce friction to help them grow. […] Not all friction is going to resolve seamlessly. But if we don’t introduce it at all, we risk becoming complacent. Instead, as managers, it’s our job to take ownership over driving growth and results for our teams and thoughtfully introduce friction when it’s needed.”

The fact that friction can be deployed as a strategy illustrates how it is not all bad and can be harnessed to achieve desirable ends. In fact, we avoid a lot of insight by avoiding necessary interactions that appear troubling. Think of a longstanding conflict with a colleague, where you chose to not address the problem to maintain the status-quo or a disagreement in a friendship which you ignored for the sake of keeping everything stable. In each of these situations, short-term peace might be maintained but the relationships might suffer on account of unaddressed issues. To quote Brené Brown, “People often silence themselves, or "agree to disagree" without fully exploring the actual nature of the disagreement, for the sake of protecting a relationship and maintaining connection. But when we avoid certain conversations, and never fully learn how the other person feels about all of the issues, we sometimes end up making assumptions that not only perpetuate but deepen misunderstandings, and that can generate resentment.”

Therefore, friction need not be removed from our systems altogether but embraced, faced and made sense of. Once we do not fear the possibility of conflict and believe in transforming it into a productive tool, we can usher in a fresh paradigm of interactions, a flourishing diversity of conversations and alliances, which can propel us to better social cohesion and eventually, realize a better world in its wake.

(The author is Founder & CEO Upsurge Global and Adjunct Professor and Advisor EThames College)